{"id":17415,"date":"2020-05-21T12:48:33","date_gmt":"2020-05-21T10:48:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.intimina.com\/blog\/?p=17415"},"modified":"2021-04-22T05:12:59","modified_gmt":"2021-04-22T03:12:59","slug":"sex-after-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.intimina.com\/blog\/sex-after-trauma\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex After Trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"

This article was medically fact-checked by Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist Dr. Shree Datta<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sex. One of the ultimate acts of connection. An opportunity to experience transcendence, bliss, and ecstasy. Unfortunately that\u2019s not the case for many people.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As humans, we are likely to experience at least one \u201ctraumatic\u201d incident in our lives. What constitutes trauma can vary from person to person, and it depends on how their brain and nervous system physiologically respond and process the event(s).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

An All Too Common Occurrence<\/b><\/p>\n

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or <\/span>PTSD<\/a> <\/span>occurs when someone who experienced a traumatic event develops long-term residual effects that interfere with their daily lives.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the most common causes of trauma is from sexual and\/or domestic violence. A comprehensive global study found the 1 in 3, or roughly 35% of women have experienced physical and\/or sexual violence. <\/span><\/p>\n

This conclusion was pulled from existing data, and in reality, this statistic is probably much higher because many, if not most, incidents of sexual assault go unreported. Of course not everyone who experiences sexual or domestic violence is a woman. This is something that can affect anyone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Trauma is widespread. It affects so many of our lives, and in the case of sexual and domestic violence, can be detrimental to having a fulfilling sex life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Body Knows<\/b><\/p>\n

When someone experiences trauma, or is healing from PTSD, there are distinct physiological effects that keep them from feeling a sense of home in their body. It\u2019s common for survivors to feel disconnected from themselves and their partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

Their body may freeze up when getting intimate, or they may experience a general lack of safety.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This greatly interferes with their ability to experience pleasure on the deepest of levels. When you don\u2019t feel safe in your body, it blocks you from feeling the depths of your sensations. It\u2019s a genius defense mechanism designed to protect you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The problem is, it often persists much longer than necessary, keeping survivors from feeling fully alive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Another way trauma may intefere with someone\u2019s sex life, is by leaving them feeling unworthy of pleasure. PTSD can severely affect someone\u2019s confidence and self worth. Survivors, and society for that matter, often blame themselves, creating a perpetual cycle of shame. <\/span><\/p>\n

This ripples out into every area in their lives, and they may start to believe that they are unworthy of love. Unworthy of pleasure. That their needs don\u2019t matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

We also want to point out that it\u2019s not just sexual trauma that may interfere with your sex life. Any sort of traumatic event can affect your mental and physical health and leave you with the same feelings of disconnection and fear.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now What?<\/b><\/p>\n

If you can relate to this, first of all- we are so sorry. No one deserves to be put through that pain and the residual effects of it. Know that you are supported, and there are things you can do to take back your life, especially when it comes to sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

Trauma stores itself in the nervous system. It creates uncomfortable patterns that may seem foreign to who we truly are, and keep us from being our true selves. In order to create a thriving sex life after trauma, you have to treat the nervous system and drop back into the body.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some common modalities for doing so:<\/span><\/p>\n