Language is one of the most powerful tools we have as humans. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes language can feel limiting, or like it can\u2019t capture how we feel or what we\u2019re experiencing. Luckily, just like humans, language can evolve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is especially important when it comes to our sex lives. A fluid approach to language allows us to deconstruct outdated and harmful terms like \u201closing your virginity<\/a>\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Deconstructing language around our sex lives gives us the freedom to define our experiences for ourselves, without the boundaries society has placed on us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first thing you may be thinking is \u201cWhat on Earth do you mean?! There\u2019s only one definition for sex!\u201d. That\u2019s what society would like you to believe, but let\u2019s examine that belief closer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The world would be pretty boring if we all held the same beliefs for everything. Boring is the last word you want to use when talking about sex. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Being able to create your own definition for sex expands the opportunities you have for connection and intimacy, and helps to destigmatize toxic beliefs around sexuality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You may have heard of the term \u201cheteronormativity\u201d. This is the belief that heterosexuality is the default or most natural form of relationships. Heteronormativity relies on the gender binary, or belief that there are only two genders – biological male and female. It tends to minimize or reject people who are non-binary<\/a>, trans, or anything outside of the gender they were assigned at birth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Heteronormativity is also homophobic by default. Thinking that a man and a woman is the most correct or default form of a relationship, is harmful to those who are LGBTQA+. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With heteronormativity comes steadfast beliefs around sex. If someone believes the default form of a relationship is a man and a woman, they most likely also believe that penis in vagina is the only definition of sex. Heteronormativity is rooted in patriarchal structures. Ones that, more often than not, center male pleasure, and disregard or minimize female pleasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why is this harmful? For one, it\u2019s not true. Many people have sex in ways that doesn\u2019t involve a penis and a vagina. This is the norm for many queer people. Oral sex can be sex, using toys is sex, manual stimulation can be considered sex, masturbation is sex, kink can be sex, even intense naked making out can be considered sex if people decide it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\n\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tRedefining Sex<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Breaking Down Heteronormativity<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n