{"id":20786,"date":"2022-01-19T16:13:27","date_gmt":"2022-01-19T15:13:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.intimina.com\/blog\/?p=20786"},"modified":"2022-01-19T16:15:42","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T15:15:42","slug":"how-to-be-yourself-when-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.intimina.com\/blog\/how-to-be-yourself-when-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be Yourself When Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m in my late 20\u2019s. My Nana is in her late 70\u2019s. Besides being sassy balls of sweetness and sharing the same gene line, we have something else in common. We\u2019re both dipping our toes into dating. <\/span>While she fairly recently lost her husband of over 50 years and is looking for new connections and companionship, my intention is to find a life partner to settle down with.\u00a0 <\/span>After having a conversation with her about how nervous she was before a new date, I realized something \u2013 dating can be nerve-wracking no matter what stage of life you are in.\u00a0 <\/span>These nerves sometimes can make us feel out of alignment with ourselves, or just not grounded. We might feel like we\u2019re not showing up as ‘our best selves’. <\/span>Dating can be hard, but it can also be really fun. I\u2019m here to give you some tips that I\u2019ve picked up along the way on how to be yourself when dating.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s Ok to Be Nervous<\/b><\/h2>\n

Do me a favor. Take a deep breath in and let it out with a sigh. You may even want to do a \u201chorse breath\u201d by breathing out rapidly with your lips closed. Now give your body a little shake from your head to your feet. Feel better?<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s one way of clearing the nervousness you\u2019re feeling. <\/span>Those nerves though? They\u2019re entirely normal.\u00a0 <\/span>Meeting new people is exciting and exhilarating, even if it\u2019s someone you already knew just in a different context. This can make you nervous.\u00a0 <\/span>If it makes you feel any better, your date is probably just as nervous, if not more than you are.\u00a0 Being nervous is not just Ok, but normal. We\u2019ll tell you how to deal with those nerves later on.\u00a0 <\/span>But first, another hot tip.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be Clear About Your Intentions<\/b><\/h2>\n

People go into dating with all different backgrounds and intentions.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe they just got out of a long-term relationship and are looking for someone to share a meal with. <\/span>Or they\u2019re looking for a hot hook-up. <\/span>Or a date to their company holiday party. <\/span>Or maybe a spouse and someone to have babies with (If that\u2019s your thing). <\/span>My point is, people have different intentions and expectations when it comes to dating. The best way to prevent heartache and stay present is by being clear about what those intentions are. This may be helpful to do before you even schedule a date. <\/span>Sometimes someone seems really interesting, but you\u2019re scared to ask because you don\u2019t want to know the answer. Try not to do this. You\u2019re only prolonging heartache in the end if you have different hopes for the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stay in Your Comfort Zone<\/b><\/h2>\n

You might be thinking ‘What?! I thought the whole point of dating was to get out of your comfort zone.’\u00a0 <\/span>Hear me out. <\/span>Dating is a fine line between staying comfortable and getting uncomfortable. <\/span>Meeting a new person in a romantic setting is probably outside of your comfort zone, to begin with, especially if you tend to be more of an introvert.\u00a0 <\/span>So when it comes to deciding what to do on said date, you might want to stick with something that feels comfortable. That way, the only nerves you\u2019re experiencing are ones from being with this new person, not because it\u2019s your first time at an open mic or bungee jumping.\u00a0 <\/span>If being an adrenaline junkie and trying new things is within your comfort zone, then by all means go for it.\u00a0 <\/span>The point is to do something that feels fun, exciting, and low commitment. My favorites are a sunset walk or meeting at a coffee shop.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Date Yourself First<\/b><\/h2>\n

Hey you! Yeah, you. You\u2019ve got it going on, don\u2019t forget it.\u00a0 <\/span>One of the best ways to be yourself when dating is to go into the experience feeling confident, secure, and clear. <\/span>How do you do that? By dating yourself first.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That could mean different things to different people. <\/span>For me, that means doing things that lift me up and make me feel full of energy like practicing yoga, going surfing, having a little home spa sesh, and meditating.\u00a0 <\/span>For you, it might mean going for a bike ride, baking, or FaceTiming with your besties.\u00a0 <\/span>You catch my drift. <\/span>The most important thing is to do things that make you feel good so that you can go into your date feeling as grounded and centered as possible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some other ways you can do this are:<\/span><\/p>\n