Bringing Humor into Sex
When two (or more) people come together in a sexual union it’s exciting, exhilarating, ecstatic, and sometimes it’s…hilarious.
The whole concept of sex, while magical, is incredibly funny. Sweaty bodies collaborating for the sake of pleasure. Configuring different limbs, holes, toys, and attachments to fit together. Sometimes things don’t work out how we want them too, we can get frustrated or second guess ourselves. Sex isn’t usually as seamless as it’s portrayed in movies and porn.
So how do we diffuse this awkwardness? With humor of course!
The Magic of Humor
By the way, who says magic can’t be funny? Some of the most admired spiritual teachers around are ones that seamlessly integrate wit into their teachings. So let’s bring it into our sex lives.
It makes sense why we get so serious in the sheets. Residual trauma, body shame, tension in your relationship, and so on. There are a multitude of reasons why we tense up and try to keep a straight face when things get weird.
Being able to roll with the punches, allows us to stay in the present moment. When weird noises escape our bodies, or we slip and miss the right spot, being able to laugh about it keeps us connected instead of freezing up from embarrassment.
Here’s a simple equation for you: Humor allows for relaxation. Relaxation means less tension in the body. The less tense we feel, the more pleasure can pulse through our systems.
Sex + Tension= Freezing Up
Sex + Humor= Relaxation
Relaxation + Sex= Pleasure
Enough of the math. You get the picture.
Sex is about experimentation. Trying new things can involve quite a few learning curves. With that comes some fumbling and figuring out what does and doesn’t work for you and your partner. This process can be awkward. We’ve all been there. Back to our equations above.
Now that math is over, it’s time for some science. Laughing allows us to bond. Oxytocin, etc. oxytocin and orgasms. Laughing releases endorphins, a natural opiate that gives us feelings of euphoria.
Along with endorphins and a myriad of other chemicals, laughing also stimulates the release of oxytocin. Otherwise known as the “love hormone”, oxytocin is a powerful player in bonding, birth, and sex. It is naturally released during orgasms, which means laughter + orgasms = a whole lot of feel-good chemicals.
Not only that, but oxytocin cancels out cortisol, the stress hormone. Allowing for a deeper feeling of relaxation and comfort. The cycle continues.
Who knew math and science could be so much fun?
We’ve All Been There
Some of our funniest stories are awkward sexual encounters in our teens and young adulthood. The process of understanding how to be human, how to be a dynamic sexual being, how to develop intimacy with others- it’s weird. What’s one of the best ways to deal with weird situations? Laugh about them.
While we all have funny sex stories, here are some incredible ones we’ve (anonymously) collected.”
“I was staying at this guy’s place for a weekend sexcapade. It was day three of going at it. While in doggy style I turned around for him to cum in my mouth, when he came in…my eye. It got under my contact and my eye got super inflamed!”
“I thought I was pregnant when I got fingered for the first time, and took a pregnancy test. Needless to say, it was negative.”
“My high school boyfriend and I were a bit of exhibitionists and would often get frisky while out in nature. One day we were hiking, and all of sudden a whole herd of cows gathered around us to watch the show. Way to kill the MOOd!’”
“When I was an RA, I had sex with my resident and would call him in for “meetings.”
“We were by a river in nature outside with no one around. This beautiful man and I were in the sand eating melons and getting juicy with the fruit, if ya know what I mean. I came, and then the bees came! He got stung on his penis, but we kept on going. He said it gave him more adrenaline and stamina.”
“The first time I had sex with my now partner, I told them I didn’t think I could come without a penis. I quickly took back that statement, and exclaimed “OH! That’s what it’s supposed to feel like!”
“I had sex with someone thinking that they threw the condom away. Until I found it stuck inside of me a week later!”
“I broke a sink once having sex with my high school boyfriend. His mom had to pay to fix it.”
“My roommate and I were out for drinks and this guy wanted to come home with me. We were all in my bedroom, and he was trying to initiate a threesome. I wasn’t feeling it and said ‘Nah!’, and left them to hangout in the living room. He then proceeded to come out there FOUR separate times trying to convince me to participate. Waddling in with his pants at his ankles, penis swinging, moving like a toddler with a poopy diaper. Not a good way to seduce somebody! That image is forever cemented in my mind.”
So next time something goes a little awry whilst getting it on, heed this message “Sex is funny. Take the time to laugh at the little things in life. It makes it all that much more enjoyable.”
Natasha (she/her) is a full-spectrum doula and health+wellness copywriter. Her work focuses on deconstructing the shame, stigma, and barriers people carry around birth, sex, health, and beyond, to help people navigate through their lives with more education and empowerment. You can connect with Natasha on IG @natasha.s.weiss.