It’s now Day 45896 of quarantine and things are starting to get a bit – shall we say – wacky. “Wait a minute, what day is it again?” is literally a total mood right now.
Don’t worry, quarantine queens. We’re all on the same page. The stay-at-home orders have only been in place for a handful of weeks (depending on your location in the world), but it’s starting to feel like an eternity.
There’s not much we can do except stay inside and keep our communities safe. But does it really have to be so boring? Absolutely not!
If your social life just went from “queen of the night” to “princess of isolation,” try bringing the outdoors in. We’ve got loads of ideas to turn your apartment into a combination spa, dance club and adult boutique.
While it might sound kinda weird, it might just be more fun than the real thing (because, let’s face it, this is as good as it’s gonna get for the foreseeable future). So you might as well live it up in all your isolated glory!
Have a Spa Day with All the Works
Bathtub filled? Check. Candles lit? Double-check. Face cream on? You bet. Wine in hand? Oh, yes.
Remember playing spa day with your girl friend or your mom when you were little? It’s one of those things you keep promising yourself as an adult, but you never seem to find the time.
Well, look what we have here: an endless amount of hours to break out all your face masks, bath bombs and body oils, and candles, crystals and everything else made for glamming up your body and mind.
Start the day with a glass of white wine or champagne in your bed, complete with bathrobe, a plate of healthy fruits and veggies, and cucumber slices over your eyes. Then move into the “steam room,” aka your bathroom, with the tub filled to warm perfection and spiced with a bath bomb, bubbles or yummy-smelling salts. Don’t forget your favorite chill tunes and lots of candles and crystals to line the edges of your “Jacuzzi tub.”
While you soak, slather on a face mask or moisturizing cream. The ingredients will perfectly penetrate your skin in the warm, moist air of your bathroom.
Finish off however you like: with a lotion or oil-enhanced self-massage, by rolling a crystal face roller over your newly pampered face, or maybe a manicure or pedicure.
Bring the Club to Your Living Room
This is a sad year for party babes and festival girls. Pretty much all the major music and art festivals, concerts, and rave-y type events have been canceled until 2021. So now it’s time to improvise.
Head to your closet and bust out your club and festival gear, along with anything you can find to decorate your living room or bedroom. Think Christmas lights, color-changing LEDs, fake flowers, leftover decorations from your favorite holidays, colorful sashes to hang around the walls and ceiling – get as weird and wild as you want. Pretend you’re building your own warehouse rave space or mini theme camp.
Now do the same with your wardrobe. Put together all those sexy costumes you were planning for festival season before coronavirus shut down the whole world. Lingerie with animal-themed onesies; fishnets with a crop top and booty shorts; giant platform boots with skin-tight leggings and a bedazzled bra – anything goes at Club Quarantine.
Then hook up your best speaker system (or don headphones if your neighbors might complain) and create your ultimate dance playlist, or hit up SoundCloud or Spotify to stream lengthy tracks from your favorite Djs.
If you like a bit of liquor to go with your dancing shoes, grab whatever you’ve got in the kitchen and dig up some drink recipes online.
Turn off the lights, fire up the LEDs, and turn up the tunes. Looks like the club just came to you, darlin’.
Spend Hours Seducing Yourself, Sex Toys and All
When was the last time you had a date night for one? Unless your answer is “yesterday,” we think it’s been far too long.
Plan an entire night (or day, if you prefer) of pleasure for one. A partner can’t read your mind, but lucky you, there’s no difficulties in setting the scene exactly as you like when you’re getting ready to get laid with yourself.
First, browse your sex toy and sexy accessory collection, carefully curating what you’d like to wear, which oils or lubes you want to use, and which sex toys will have the honor of pleasuring you. Want to just lay out your entire line-up of vibes, dildos, booty plugs, and lubes and lotions and decide as the night progressed? Go for it!
Don’t forget to include all the little extras that make for an unforgettably sensual scene: a plate of sensual food and drink like strawberries with champagne; some candles and incense; your crystal collection (especially if you like crystal or stone sex toys); anything that makes you feel gorgeous and tantalized, like the sensual feel of chain jewelry against your bare skin or the sensation of lace lingerie as it brushes against your intimate parts.
Set your ideal sex scene wherever is most cozy: on your bed, on a blanket in your living room, near a big pile of pillows on your couch, or in the bathtub if you enjoy warm water play.
Get yourself nice and toasty – whether with wine, champagne, or simply a toasty warm temp in the air – light those candles, and start off with a sensual self-massage while music or an erotic adult film plays in the background. Work your hands all over your body until you’re ready to move on to those trove of toys waiting nearby.
Slowly, deliberately spend the next few hours exploring your potential for pleasure with your toy collection. Use copious, almost ridiculous amounts of lube. Combine toys in ways you’ve never tried before. Spend hours teasing your outside parts before sensually testing the waters of penetrative play. Finish an entire bottle of wine while concentrating solely on massaging your breasts and inner thighs.
Stand in front of a mirror and get as gorgeously dirty as you like while appreciating your unique beauty.
This is your time to creatively play with your body with zero obligation to please a partner. Indulge in every solo fantasy you’ve ever dreamed up, and don’t stop until you’re ready to collapse into a deep, post-ecstasy sleep.