What Does it Mean to be Non-Binary?

Sexual Wellness | | Natasha Weiss
5 min read

With the growing awareness around the many nuances of gender and sexuality, comes more and more people who identify as “gender non-binary”. If this is a totally new concept to you – not to worry! We’re here to answer some of the most common questions regarding gender fluidity. Maybe you yourself have questioned whether you may be non-binary – welcome! No matter where you are in your understanding of gender, let this be a guide to help shed some light on this somewhat elusive topic.

It’s Not a Third Gender

One common misconception that people have around gender, is that non-binary is a “third gender”. Let’s clear this up right now – it’s not. 

The identity of someone who is non-binary is one that is shaped outside of the societal constructs of a strict “gender binary”. Meaning one thing or the other. Male or female. Girl or boy. Man or woman. To so many, this feels rigid, limiting, and downright oppressive. 

Helpful Terms

Before you dive into the world of non-binary-ness, it’s important to have a basic understanding of these terms. 

Cis-Gender, is when someone’s gender identity matches that which they were assigned at birth. Ex: “I was born a female, and I identify as a woman”.

Trans: Trans is someone whose gender identity is different than the sex they were assigned at birth. Some trans people’s journey involves hormone replacement therapy and/or surgery, however, it certainly doesn’t have to. 

Many trans people also identify as non-binary, or vice versa. In much the same sentiment, every trans person’s journey is highly individualized and they may or may not want to adhere to society’s standards of what it means to be a man or a woman. 

To Each Their Own

Someone who is non-binary may feel an equal balance of male and female energies. Or they may feel neither, or ‘a-gender’. They may feel these energies all at once, or never at all, or a constant changing of them, fluctuating much like the Earth’s seasons. There is no one way to be non-binary, and each person’s journey is highly unique to them. 

You may have heard other terms floating around like gender non-conforming, genderqueer, and gender fluid. All of these encompass the same idea of having a gender identity that is outside the normal structure of what it means to be male or female. 

Genitals Do Not Equal Gender

What someone has in between their legs or on their chest does not define their gender identity.  Having said that, some non-binary people may have gender-affirming surgery (top or bottom), or go on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), as a means of feeling like what’s on the outside reflects how they feel on the inside. 

A common societal belief is that when someone undergoes one or more of these treatments, they want to be validated through society as a gender opposite of the one they were assigned at birth. This is not always true, some non-binary people use these treatments as a way of breaking free of the gender binary.

It’s Nothing New

Although we’ve seen a rise of non-binary representation in social media in the last few years, this concept is far from new. 

People across the world, like the ancient Celts, and Indigenous people across the globe have not only accepted but revered non-binary people for generations. Native Americans have people who are “Two-Spirit”, that fill very specific roles in their communities.

Much of the time, non-binary people within these communities would serve as a bridge between the spirit and physical realm, between man and woman, and more. This is thanks to their ability to live in a liminal state of being in between and outside the norm.

Gender and Sexuality

Gender and sexuality are not the same. While there is overlap, and the two topics go hand in hand, you cannot assume someone’s sexuality based on their gender, and vice-versa. 

It’s common for non-binary people to identify as “queer”, “pansexual”, or “bisexual”. Since they are not a cis-gendered person, they would not be considered heterosexual. Heterosexual means “attracted to the opposite sex”. Well guess what? There is no opposite of non-binary, which is where queer comes in.

Non-binary people can also be a-sexual, demisexual, may identify as lesbian or gay, or any other verbage that resonates with them. 

Pronoun Power

Many non-binary people choose to use pronouns outside of she/her and him/his. 

Some common ones are…

  • They/Them/Theirs
  • Ze/Hir
  • Co/Cos
  • Xe/Xem/Xyr
  • Hy/Hym/Hys

For some non-binary folx, they choose to use their name in leiu of pronouns. Much like their pronouns, oftentimes people will change their name as a way of affirming their gender. If they strictly use this new name, then the name they were given at birth is called their “dead name”. It is incredibly disrespectful to use this name without their permission. 

While someone’s pronouns do not define them, they are an important tool in navigating a world that is filtered through a binary lens.

If you are unsure of someone’s pronouns, just ask them! 

It may be uncomfortable at first, but trust that it gets easier with practice, and know that you are being a considerate human, who is respecting the individual in front of them. This will be greatly appreciated!

A little tip; there is a misconception that when asking someone’s pronouns you use the term “preferred pronouns”. This is incorrect. These pronouns are not preferred, they simply are. Instead, just say “What are your pronouns?”.

Gender Neutral is The Future

Remember, that someone’s appearance is not indicative of their gender identity. Part of moving towards a more inclusive future is using gender neutrality as the default. Imagine interacting with people without assuming their gender identity. That is inclusivity, and that is the future. 

No matter how your gender identity shapes itself over time, one thing remains the same – it is a reflection of the ever-expanding ways you become more and more true to yourself. To embrace gender nonconformity is to say yes to the vast experiences of what it means to be human – and what is possible within that.

Remember, the future is fluid.

65 thoughts on “What Does it Mean to be Non-Binary?

  • Floored says:

    That is some real delusional bullshit! Man and Woman! What is between your legs at BIRTH for sure determines your gender!!!!

    • Disappointed says:

      Agreed, absolute trash. Jordan Petersen said it best, when one hasnt accomplished anything in their own life, they tend to try and solve large non specific problems to appear enlightened to their neighbors.

    • sarah stone says:

      lmao u stupid . you can be any sex y’all want

    • Echo says:

      When the writer says the future is “fluid” that is basically saying what many people have been saying about this it is a fad at this point. Feeling like I don’t fit a cookie cutter mold of femininity doesn’t make me less of a woman it’s who I was born to be case closed

    • peachy says:

      um no. whatever a person wants to be should not be determined by what is in between your legs but by what you feel makes them comfortable. so i say if you got nothing nice to say leave that in your own house not here.

  • Dude says:

    What a bunch of bullshit! You people need psychological help. Nobody believes this garbage.

  • Kenneth A Quandt says:

    Frankly, it irritates the shit out of me when someone asks “what’s your pronouns.” I will tell them “what do you see before you” or use they doesn’t do it, I will say “I am a man” use pronouns appreciate. I think it’s outrageous people bending over backwards to protect the “feelings” of a very small minority, whole having no difficult whatsoever of offending the majority, like myself. And yes, I do find it extremely offensive, I will not participate in this ridiculous bullshit. People have become so open minded their brains have fallen out

  • Kenneth A Quandt says:

    I’m with you. It offends the shit out of me if somebody is stupid enough to ask what pronouns to use. Three opened minded idiots don’t want to offend a very small minority, but don’t think twice about offending the majority. Something is drastically wrong with that

  • Glenn Campbell says:

    There needs to be a new word created for these people. Your “sex” is determined at birth. Male or female. If you want to be something different, that’s fine. No matter how many men wear dresses and claim to be women, their chromosomes still come out as male. Science doesn’t lie.

  • Daniel Freeman says:

    This is incredible. Those pronouns aren’t even words. These people have lost their minds.

  • pluto says:

    why does this offend y’all so much? is this actively hurting you? if you don’t understand don’t be rude about it, we’ll answer your questions

  • Aaron Froland says:

    Um…no. What is between your legs at birth IS what gender you are. Testicles, male. Vagina, female. Not that difficult to figure out. Born with both? Hermaphrodite. You’re welcome.

  • Concerned says:

    The creator of humans , God Almighty , created only two, man and woman… He created chromosomes that determine which one you are. It’s not what you feel like inside , that is a psychological issue . Creating a whole list of things to call yourself may make you feel better but your still a make or female . Seek God and he will heal you and free your mind ! He’s a healer and can save you from anything!

  • Rational Thinker says:

    When a society is void of absolutes this is what happens. We begin to entertain and even create names for any and every thought we may have. If someone in the past (a minute portion of society) were to identify or entertain such thoughts they were considered to have mental illness. They were treated and shown scientifically how their ideas or thoughts were impossible. Now, we give a voice and entertain any idea or thought that pops into ones head (at any age) as normal. Concrete, cut and dried thinking is no longer optional and if you teach children that boys become men who like women or girls become women who like men you are wrong. People become people who like people is now being politically correct. Truly heartbreaking. ?

    Reproduction of the human race will only happen when sperm meets egg (Male and Female unite). This will allow women who feel like and look like men to give birth (because they are naturally female). A natural born male cannot carry a child, regardless of their identity as a female, they have no uterus. It was and always has been two genders. When we give a voice to mental health ideation, we are entertaining the irrational. We are doing much more harm than good. Will there ever be a line drawn in the sand? Who gets to determine what is rational thinking or irrational? Those who feel disconnected now have a group to connect to, which is a good thing, but forcing their ideas on the world as correct, accepted by all, or sane is another. I bet if one would look into each ones history you would find a long list of mental health diagnoses, a history of abuse (physical, mental, sexual, neglect of any kind) or something tragic that is the point of origin. A trigger can change the chemistry of the brain and alter a brain that was once normal causing it to become abnormal or abstract.

    Not enough time to share all my thoughts on this.

  • Disappointed In The Readers says:

    I’m am deeply disappointed by how many people think this is bad. If your confused use some common cense and pipe up. Some people are to small minded to think of the possibility of there being more then just women and men on this earth. People need to forget their religion for a minute and think about how diverse this world has become. God said man and women is the only acceptable relationship, but here I am gay and proud. And not concerned about what bullshit god thinks. (Or what people will tell you god thinks) The Bible was written by a person not god, so how do people know what god thinks is wrong or right.

  • Jason says:

    This is lunacy. There are absolutes in this world and removing all of them in the name of “open mindedness and inclusion” is doing way more harm than good. If someone genuinely felt they were an antelope born in a human body, that’s mental illness. If someone who is physiologically born male feels they are female, that’s fine though? Look, at the end of the day what gender you are shouldn’t really have an impact on how you’re treated in most social interactions, so it doesn’t really matter what you identify as. I’ve been on dating apps and I am a man seeking a woman sometimes being shown people who are obviously men. Genuinely it matters little to me because I swipe left and move on, but these guys arent doing themselves any favors because no matter what they “feel” and they are, identifying themselves as female or a woman means they’ll be shown to preople seeking women. I’m sorry, but dillusional man isn’t the same thing. Im giving this as an example of an actual impact it has on them, because again, all of the people not interested just move on but they aren’t selling their goods to anyone who’s buying them at that point. Whereas if they identified as a man seeking a man if that is the case, they would be immensely more successful. I have 0 issue with homosexuality/bisexuality/whatever sexuality. What attracts you is personal and subjective. People will be up and arms and say “well what is it hurting if someone identifies as non binary or a woman identifies as a man…blah blah blah” I don’t argue it’s specifically “hurting” me. I do feel it has a negative impact on social dynamics and society as a whole, because to return to my original point, there are absolutes in this world, and appeasing people who’s views or understanding of the he world is blatantly incorrect is actually having the most negative impact on those people. As humans our feelings are always 100% real. They are NOT, however, always true.

  • Dave Sieff says:

    What did I just read!
    Wow! I’m 42, let’s say I want to identify as being 82, and then someone tells me that I’m clearly not 82 but I get offended.
    Doesn’t it sound ludicrous?
    Hmmmmm First world problems come to mind.

  • Vicky Rombouts says:

    What I can’t understand all you people writing a negative opinion lol why are you reading this in the first place? If this topic isn’t for you? It’s for people that’s it’s going to help and that are interested not people that is going to be negative. Keep off this page you fools. Go read something else.

  • Georgiana says:

    God made us all and he accepts and loves us equally and not based on our sexuality. Godslove is unconditional and sex us not a thing to be ashamed about in Gods eyes whether it be opposite or same sex it is all the same to God ie God given pleasure for us to enjoy it is people who shame each other and not God. Gid is love God us knowledge.

  • gadfly says:

    “irritates the shit out of me” Thanks for the visual. But isn’t an enema easier? 1. I don’t think it
    is a minority. It is not a healthy agenda to confront Christians, You will never win. But if the point
    of attempting to confront is to keep Christian bullys in check, then OK. Christians believe what
    you want – live the way you want. No one is keeping you from your beliefs. G-d also created judges and
    courts. Read your Bible. You have to “live and let live” under the law. Finally, what would Jesus do ? I think he would make friends.

  • Alex says:

    So this is my answer to this. I have 0 issues, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. I don’t care. You can identify as anything you wish, within reason. This doesn’t change if you’re biologically a male or a female. That’s it. No other biological choice. It has gotten so out of hand that it’s impacting many many areas of life, politics, etc. So much so, that there are professors at universities that are saying that we shouldn’t call Pedophiles Pedophiles as to not hurt their feeling or put them in a negative light. So now we need to call them MAP. Minor attracted person. When did it become acceptable to be a pedophile??!!! Limits must be set. Reality is reality.

  • Jennifer says:

    This is the reason why the US is becoming the laughing stock instead of the feared country. If a person which is singular identifies as a they or a them which is plural mean that they would have multiple personalities and need help? I know there are 2 sexes and one being female and one being male. I have a daughter that prefers to date females and I am ok with that. I except it and still love her and her partner is wonderful. I love her as my daughter. But they both know that they are girls and except that fact and want to have kids which I support 100%. But I don’t understand the whole I am not female I am not male. Their are people that transition which I have 2 of my kids friends that are in the process and I support them 100%. I just can’t except the fact that They Them thing. Wouldn’t that make them an It? When I think of It I think of 2 things the clown or the hairy monster from The Adam’s Family. Is there anyone out there that agrees with me here? I also found out that my daughter that just came out on Christmas Day worships the devil. Has anyone else came across this same situation? I mean I’d this the way that these people are crying out for help, or that they have to be the center of attention? I am so confused. Is the end of the world closer than what we think?

  • Julia says:

    I am cis-gendered and have no issue with others sexual orientation or gender identity. I understand how some people are trans or non-binary. When talking to them it often seems natural and their personality or view on the world seems the match with their gender affiliation.
    I also think that everyone is on the spectrum of pan-sexuality.

    What I need perspective from non-binary people is the following; Chris, my adult son who has always been a cis-gendered heterosexual person who’s fiancé cis-gendered female. Chris has always been binary in thinking on all other topics. Chris has had an engineering mindset, everything has always been “ black or white” “ 1 or 0.” He was not raised being exposed traditional gender roles. My spouse and I work as equal partners both doing things that do not fall into traditional gender roles. Growing up Chris was offered a variety of toys irrespective of traditional gender affiliation. He was given dolls, cooking stuff, etc. he ignored those toys entirely and always gravitated towards legos, trucks, and dinosaurs.
    After several drinks the fiancé announced at Christmas dinner that she is pansexual, and then Chris announced that his pronouns are “they/them.” I said “oh, okay.” The two of them then changed the subject before I had registered what I had heard.
    There was alcohol involved at the time and we had guests and my elderly mother present making me feel uncomfortable circling back to open and process a serious topic when the info was delivered.
    It seems so out of character for my adult-child. Do you think Chris is making this change due to the fiancé’s announcement?
    Since then the fiancé has referred to Chris as they/them, so it seems that this is not a joke.
    Since her announcement came first, I can’t help but wonder… is Chris’s announcement a response to hers? Does that happen?
    Thoughts from non-binary people? Those who don’t understand non-binary or have a religious opinion about gender can just scroll on by, no need to reply. Thanks in advance.

  • mark kennedy says:

    I am a meat popcicle

  • Candy Corn says:

    The other dayI felt like an emotionally under developed silly rotten animalistic small fry with huge gigantic fangs and I was terrified I was going to slip on a peanut. Whew…scary!

  • Paula says:

    Hi All,
    I appreciate everyone’s views in this blog.
    I understand and accept that all of us are not like-minded.
    Having anger/rage towards another who is different and keeping those feelings in the walls of your own home is entirely different to ACTING on that anger.
    Every human being is worthy of respect. To be kind, even if you don’t agree, makes the world a better place. It shows a big heart and a belief in equality.
    Asking what is your pronoun takes a few seconds out of your life. Surely, another human being is worth that!

  • robert s thomas, Ph.D says:

    It’s all psychological, not physical. It has to do with one’s sense of self. One can be born with male genitalia, but feel like a female, or not have any sense of sexuality towards men or women. This is nothing new. It has been happening in many cultures for centuries. It is only recently that these indiviudals have “Come Out” in western culture.

  • bob looper says:

    Three genders. Man, Woman and Confused.

  • Kromo says:

    I really don’t understand the logic of how calling what something IS, changes it. If I call my cats tail a “fourth leg”, it will never be true or accurate, now matter how I feel, or how much I beg society to affirm my “feelings”. If I feel like speaking only in profanity, because it expresses the inner me, do I create a name for that and demand all of society reflect my feelings? Let’s be realistic folks.

  • Kari says:

    I had no idea what non- binary meant and found your explanation excellent. Thank you.

  • Mar says:

    I just seen a lady on TV. Saying her friend that was killed was non-binary.
    I’ve never heard of it. But assumed it was another new younger people new fad.
    I mean no disrespect by saying that.
    I’m sorry if I offended anyone.
    I do worry about alot of these new things and what that are doing to so many. Because God is real and your taking yourselves away from him and focusing on things that won’t matter in the end.
    How anyone can say leave God out of this or anything???
    Is ready sad because we ALL need GOD in everything in our lives.
    Please look at what is going on in this world and how so many are focusing on $ or what they want etc.
    I’m not judging anyone on anything they do or want to be or be with.
    That’s not my job.
    God is the judge of ALL.
    I do disagree on this topic because God made man and woman and we are made in his image.
    Which is perfect.
    I am saddened over this and other things because I do care about every person on this Earth & want the best for everyone and I worry about were there heart and wants are. Because we all should be focusing on God because he loves us all & I do know hell isn’t a joke.
    I want ppl to be saved and so many are being led astray by evil.
    God is in your spirit, your being.
    God is a very real thing and if you ask for forgiveness of things you do or have done wrong and believe Jesus died so we can be forgiving and go to heaven and not hell and start following what God said and what Jesus said to man and he had many men write the scriptures.
    His appostles.
    I just pray that people will start carring about there fellow man n women again.
    Start being kind to each other.
    U don’t have to agree. But things can be said in a polite way.
    Treat others how you would like to be treated.
    This world is a mess and we did it an are still doing it.
    In everyway.
    Worry about what should matter n be important.
    Don’t let evil around you in anyway because it is doing what it’s set out to do to some.
    Destroy to destroy you.
    Keep u focused on any n everything.
    So you are not focused on God.
    I pray for everyone that they seek God an stop being led astray by evil.
    I’m sorry if I offended anyone because it’s not what Im wanting to do.
    I won’t apologize for preaching about God and what he wants for us all.
    People were given free will and some are following the wrong path.
    Its up to you were you want to go. When this life is over.
    I want to be able to kneel before God and for him to say.
    U repented and you changed your evil ways and your going to heaven.
    No one is a lost cause. NO ONE.
    I promise you this though.
    Once you see & feel what he does in you and your life.
    Your only regret will be.
    U didn’t do it sooner because it’s amazing.
    Yes evil will try to tempt u. Because he doesn’t want u going to our Lord and savior.
    He wants u.
    It’s easy to be bad & to do & say bad things.
    Its hard to be a kind & good person.
    Exspecially when someone is being rude ECT to you.
    That can still be a struggle for me at times. But instead of flipping out on them.
    My thoughts and prayers go to God.
    I think maybe something happened to her or maybe she cut me off because her child was hurt & in rush to get to her. Which I know very well.
    My point is it’s not always easy to do the right thing. But over time. It gets easier & before you know it.
    It becomes who you are.
    Why is because God showed & taught me to be the woman he made me to be.
    Its not always easy and at times things can get really hard n bad but seek him n pray and keep pushing forward because life is so much better w our Lord and he is always with you to guide you. If u let him.
    I lost my husband, of 25 yrs to cancer. Then my daughter was in horrible wreck died in helicopter they had to land at every hospital to keep her going till they got to the one she had best chance at.
    8 months & 28 surgeries later and a aputated arm later. She came home.
    2 of my kids got addicted to drugs an I had 2 emergency surgeries & Drs thought that I wasnt going make it.
    All this happened in 3 yrs time
    I lost my way for a time because I wasn’t going to our Lord, thinking ill fix it.
    No I made it worse but realized he will get me thru all this n he did.
    I’m blessed. My kids are clean and serving our Lord.
    He can fix anything if you follow him and does.
    Please just let him guide you in your life
    He knows the way.
    Be and do what Jesus did.
    Be kind, don’t judge, love each other, help each other.
    This world truly is in desperate need of all I’ve said.
    I pray that this will help others.
    God will judge us in the end.
    God bless to each n everyone one u.
    Ur all in my prayers.
    I felt led by God to write this & I believe that this is meant for several that are searching to find there way in life and in our Lord.
    All the glory goes to our Lord.
    Tonight when you lay your head down.
    Pray to him
    He is waiting for you.
    He loves you more than you can ever imagine.
    He died for us. Yes he definitely loves us all.
    Glory to our Lord God.
    All the Glory is his. Amen

  • angelshavenogender says:

    I looked this up because gender norms have always angered me and do to this day. I see why now. As much as I believe we should love the skin we are born in I can see why it is hard. Too many jerks trying to tell them who they are. Also, you can’t sit there and tell people what they are experiencing in their skin! You don’t exist in their body, you only exist in your own. I hate the words women and men because if it was about our biology this would never have been a conversation, to begin with. Yes some have vaginas and some have penises but in no way does that determine who you are! It just determines your physical, organ mechanisms. It won’t for a second mean you will be short or tall. If it did then tall girls wouldn’t exist. Everything would align the way this society forces but it doesn’t.This was never about gender it’s about control. If you identify as the imposed gender that was forced on you when you were born then you are cis! This was never about biology and you bullies /control freaks know it.

  • Newbie says:

    Thanks Natasha for this absolute great explanation. As someone who just began to transition, this helped a lot. Even the haters did get it this time :). Education is a tough business. Thanks for all you do. Love (always bigger than hate).

  • Froggy says:

    What a load of CRAP. If I say I identify as a frog can I piss in a water fountain.

  • BrainsAreUseful says:

    I do not feel in any way different than how I was identified at birth but I think it’s very disturbing that so many of you lack any human compassion or willingness at all to try to understand other human beings’ struggle to live happy lives. It may be easy for you but it is not for some people. Everything you and I and every human being feels is rooted in their bodies’ biochemistry, so just because you don’t feel something, that doesn’t make it impossible for others. To some people, peanutbutter is food of the gods, and to others it’s deadly poison. I remember when people were just as hateful and “offended” as you are when schools stopped serving it to kids. Everybody survived that, including some kids who could have died — yes, that really happened. Stop your self-righteous, knee-jerk reactions and start exercising your brains to figure out that other people are not exactly like you and that they have a right to live happy lives just like you do. If you can’t or won’t do that, shut up and mind your own business. Bunch of lily-livered busy bodies who think they rule the world. You are Mrs. Kravitz.

  • Iamagirlnow says:

    Live and let live. Above all, don’t give the X people any attention. Its all they Sadly seek. When the hype gets denied, it will fade away on its own including its “believers”. laughing at it or putting energy into stating facts – nature only made xx and xy, is only fueling their attention seeking. The ultimate goal – giving a platform for clear unnecessary, “modern” idiocy to prove said people, they are the next step in evolution.

  • Adrian says:

    I think I understand the concept of gender fluidity. What I don’t understand is why a person wants to be called “they”. It’s only one person, not multiple persons. Multiple genders doesn’t equal multiple persons. How about calling a person by name, period? That would solve the problem.

    On the other hand, if a person is not clear about her/his gender identity maybe that person should clarify that issue with a doctor, psychologist, whoever and then tell everybody else the bottom line. I wonder how many cases of gender fluidity are actually trans people who have issues transitioning because of the family, community, etc. I’m not saying this is an easy issue but people really need to deal with their shit and don’t expect others to come up with solutions for them.

    Maybe this is a simplistic example but imagine you go to the icecream truck and ask for icecream. The vendor asks you what flavor. You say I don’t know. Is it really the vendor’s problem to figure out what you like? Maybe one day you like vanilla and other day you want chocolate. It’s still not the vendor’s problem to guess which one you like. If one day the vendor gives you vanilla icecream but that day you actually wanted chocolate icecream you shouldn’t be offended because the vendor didn’t know what you wanted. In the same time the vendor shouldn’t be offended by the fact you didn’t like the icecream he gave you. It goes both ways.

    The conclusion is: stop being offended because other people don’t give a shit about the things you care. It goes both ways.

  • Hidenka Yuuki the Pan Person says:

    I don’t like the way that there are so many people here that are saying rude things about how this is so wrong. And people, your sex is not your gender! My sex is female, my gender is not. I don’t know what my gender is, that’s why I’m reading these things, but I’m not a girl. And people saying that God created men and women, I support people being religious and I’m fine with it, I’m personally friends with many people who are religious. But my friends aren’t homophobic or transphobic people, they are very nice and quite a lot of them are LGBTQ+ and they’re all supportive of it. I hate when people are so rude to me or my friends or just online about things like these, people calling Tora a fad for being non binary or being rude to me for being pan. Please just don’t, if you’re not going to be nice about it don’t say anything. Thank you, goodbye.

  • Lucy says:

    All of these rude comments upsets me that so many adults are like this. I’m a child and even with that, I know better to not say such rude things. If you were to say this to a 14 year old who looked up to you or just anyone it could crush them. Everything that you say to someone or do no matter if it’s nice or not will effect them. So, when you decide to post rude comments that someone young, like me, can and could see, they can think that something is wrong with them and that it is not ok to think that they can have a different gender male or female. They could have a terrible life from your words. So, stop posting hate at this topic and please keep it to yourself.

  • Confused-but-Trying says:

    Yeesh.. I want to be respectful of everyone and their rights, but honestly it is too much for even a gay man like me to grasp sometimes. I respect that men, women, and transgendered people exist, and honestly I don’t see a need for any more names than those three. Sexuality and gender are two separate things, and honestly there should really only be straight, gay, and bisexual as well. Surely one extra gender, and one extra sexual orientation should be enough, right? At least as far as political correctness should go. Otherwise, someone is always going to be offended.

  • Dan Pope says:

    “They” understand how they were made right?

  • Barbara Eisenhower says:

    This whole subject is just ridiculous!!!
    God created women and God created men!!!
    There’s no in between! If you were born with a vagina you’re a woman. If you were born with a penis you’re a man.

  • Mercy says:

    One of the biggest lies our world will face is the idea that humans can deny responsibility to gender. Having a gender is a responsibility that some people don’t want to have. When you take responsibly for who you were born to be… beautiful things happen. Families are formed and children are born when people are responsible to gender. Someday people will wake up and realize the human race was spoon fed a scam/fad to stop population growth and create dependency on big Pharma.

  • Nunnya says:

    It is simple: your chromosomes determine if you are male or female and there are only two genders that are specific. No one should be asked to use made up pronouns or pronouns that do not fit the true birth gender of the person. Also, trannies, gays and others need to stop using the terms homo-phobic and trans-phobic as a phobia is a fear and no one I know fears any of them.

  • E. F. says:

    I personally thought the article was very well written and helpful, but this comment section disgusts me. If you’re against people who don’t identify with their assigned gender or any gender, why are you here?? How did you get here?? Leave. We should be focusing on making a safe and excepting environment for these people, for anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community, not spreading hate. Tell me, how does it affect you? Huh? Is your life in danger because someone asked what your pronouns are? It’s a sign of respect, they’re making sure you’re comfortable and I think it should be normal for someone to ask your pronouns. The fact that grown adults are throwing tantrums over this is unacceptable. I don’t know how old I come off as with this comment, but for some perspective I just turned sixteen. Think about that.

  • David says:

    There are only two sexes. If you identify as something other than male or female then you need a therapist.

  • John Doe says:

    There’s only 2 Genders…
    MALE = I have a PENIS
    FEMALE = I have a VAGINA

    Everything else are those whom need to seek help. Plus, stop trying to embed this a the NEW NORM.

    Seek mental help 🤮🤮🤮🤮

  • Wayne A Shrock says:

    There’s lots of talk about follow the science. DNA is an excepted science. DNA has male and Female, no cis male, no cis female. In the end DNA wins. And males cannot get pregnant unless they cheated nature, and if they do give birth, I wanna see what hole that kid is coming out of. Either way, it’s gonna hurt!

  • ViDi says:

    I honestly want to cry reading this… this is just awful… you people keep saying it’s not about the sex you were born with, but it’s about your gender? Then this is a psychological issue and you should seek help about it! Why should everyone tip-toe around your feelings? And you ask how is this harmful? – I am honestly scared for the children that will grow thinking mental disorders are normal and it’s something to be proud of because it attracts a lot of attention and it’s the modern thing to BE… I am a christian who believes there should be only male and female as this is how we were created and there is a reason why if only those two together can procreate. I live in London, believe me I see a lot of people part of this community and I have not once treated them in any different matter than anyone else, because they stand before God, not before me (and here is to tell you that yes, God loves you very much, but He HATES the sins that you commit – very big difference so this excuse that God loves you so you can do whatever you want is not valid AT ALL. There was a comment somewhere that people who don’t agree with this new idea should educate themselves, well you should do it as well and stop creating your own God in YOUR own likeness and image to fit YOUR believes! You were created in His, not the other way around. God shouldn’t fit your ideas, you should fit His!). This said, even being as understanding that these people are just lost, I am having too much – why should I accept this as normal? Why am I not allowed to not agree with it without being called homophobic? Why are your feelings the only one that matter? Why should I be careful about every word that comes out of my mouth so I don’t offend anyone? We are rude? I saw at least a few people who called names people who don’t agree with this – they are morons, idiots and so on… so why are you so special and the others are morons? This is really testing my patience…

  • Anonymous says:

    @SarahStone and the rest of the idi0ts who are claiming the same foolishness this article states!!!

    WRONG!! You are born a male or female! That is your sex and you can’t change your sex, that is what you are BIOLOGICALLY born as. You can cut your dk off or get hormone injections but you are STILL the sex you were born as. Just because you want to be or surgically change the opposite doesn’t mean you are. You apparently did nor read the article. They are talking about gender identity. There are two genders, Male & Female just like SEX but these pushers of stup1d different made up “genders” are ridiculous! You don’t call yourself:
    It’s made up crap! Non-Binary, Pan-Sexual, Trans-Sexual etc.. 30 years ago, none of these terms existed because they are MADE UP! It’s just a new way to dance around the fact that these people have a brain malfunction and are severely mentally ill. This other crap is just a fad because we are seeing celebrities claim it, celebrities son’s being forced to wear dresses or daughters dressed as boys (Angelina Joeli’s DAUGHTER Shilo for instance, whom she chose her to look and act like a boy from the day she was born, treating her as if she was a boy because she wanted a son) or you are digesting forced chemicals by the government! Newborns,young children as well as teens are intentionally being exposed to chemicals such as bisphenol A (BPA) which MANY bottles, pacifiers, teething toys, sippy cups, water bottles, plastic utensils and plates such as those used in schools, food storage containers, refillable drinks bottles, protective coatings and linings for food and drinks cans and other plastics that come in contact with food. It is also used to develop dye in thermal paper, which is used for store sales receipts, and public transport and parking tickets, sunglasses, CD cases! When in contact with pre-pubescent and several years past puberty it disrupt the body’s endocrine system, which is the collection of glands that produce hormones! It produces high levels of testosterone in females and high levels of estrogen in males causing “Gender Dysphoria” Another chemical affecting both newborns up to adults is thalates, from plastic and polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) are one of many factors predicting gender dysphoria, particularly in the case of male-to-female transgenders. Another culprit is products, such as cosmetics, that are not ordinarily considered dangerous, or polluting, however pthalates present in packaging plastics. In adults the contraceptive drug diethylstilbesterol. Mothers who were unaware of their pregnancy who continued to take the drug, was found to have masculinizing effects on the brains of female fetuses. The limited evidence available indicated that when they matured, such females were less interested in caring for children and more interested in female romantic partners.
    Want your kids fked up or turn delusional as an adult? Do your research. These idi0ts aren’t deciding what they want to be, either they are idolizing these celebrity losers, are pretending to be “cool” cause it the “in” thing to be labeled as or you are too stup1d to realize what you are putting in your body and you can thank your government for doing so!!

  • Anonymous says:

    To the id0ts claiming anyone can be what they want, is it just as ok to be a paedophile? After all your saying it’s ok for a male to be a female as they are attracted and feel trapped in another body that’s not what they want to be. How about adult men trapped in a body that’s attracted to only children and feel they identify and have more commonality with children or adult women the same? Doesn’t socially as pretty much a whole view paedophiles as sick, mentally deranged individuals? Well the above Pan-asexuals, Non-Binary, Trans-Sexual and whatever the hell the want to call themselves are just as sick, mentally I’ll and deranged as the paedophile

  • GoBackToSleepWokeSheep says:

    This is absolute horse shit and the “people” that believe in this need serious mental help. Those of us that are normal are not going to buy into your delusions, no matter how hard you try and jam your woke agenda down our throats!

  • Tony says:

    Wow!!! This is the biggest load of absolute bull crap I have ever read. You can mutilate your genitalia all you like and no matter what you are the same damned sex you were born.
    These nut/nut less jobs need serious help. This whole idea is purely satanic. A zebra can use white out to delete its stripes and tattoo spots onto its skin but I guarantee you a leopard will not call it brother it will call the zebra dinner.

  • Kimberly Homuth says:

    Be who you want to be, who you feel like being, who you were born to be. I accept you as you are. You are simply enough. Love, peace, and acceptance.

  • S B says:

    Wow! I am astonished at all the anger revealed in these comments. Why? What is it you all are really angry about? Why does another person’s personal identity cause you to go off the rails?

    I don’t see any of this as a sexual issue at all which I think is the confusion here. Some of you think theirs is about sexual preference when it is really about individual identity. They/them, he/she, his/hers, so what? Be honest.

    I think you are just resistant to the work of learning new terms. I know that was my initial reaction. I wonder if I can get it right and am not sure if I will ever understand it all completely. But, that doesn’t mean I need to be hateful or mean.

    Think back to when you were a teenager. We all wanted to be unique. This is just the same. People evolve as they experience life. Let them. Just ask them to forgive your lack of knowing the right thing and move on. Be the best person you can be and maybe your good influence can help another person become who they are meant to be.

    And if it worries you so much, pray for wisdom.

    Peace be to you all.

  • Neal Hightower says:

    Social, biological implosion, birth deformity, immorality, pornographic display of disparate sex traits, gender ambivalence, gender non- conformity, conceits of sexual lust, parental negligence, oppression of emotional love, alcohol/drug habituations, incest, absence of absolute values, elevation of economics as primary in human valuation, violence, anger, are some of the etiological dispositions that prevent personality conformity, reject social taboos, deny spiritual/religious revelations! The list is protracted, convoluted, complex, variable, extensive!

    Abnormality as a psychological derivative of mental health science is determined by statistical relevance to normative behaviors. When the norms change so do the statistical averages! It is after all a chaotic, relative, science, based on cognitive precepts that contain human, divine, intelligence within theoretical boundaries. Ideologically divinity is repressed by human creativity: competition with God exceeds, subjugates faith, as a substance of past revelation, present intuition, sacrificing historical structures that have provided cohesive social stasis for millenniums. The newly bred chaotic flux is exacerbated by lack of universal precepts to anchor particular realities!

    Without conceptual, cognitive, boundaries, based on perceived truths filtered through sensual, mental, emotional, stimuli social, political, ecological actions, revert to cognitive brain stem survival reflexes, as demonstrated in present time virtual realities. God is now categorically “god,” “gods,” “non-binary,” “artificial intelligence,” “non-existent,” for the mass of collective society, an “anti-Christ,” “anti-God,” dispensation! As this cognitive phenomena moves through collective human institutional paradigms normative behaviors acquiesce to accommodate abnormal behaviors as normative. A stablizing generating principle within human consciousness is lost to unstable fluidity of human desires, passions. Civilization self-destructs, as foundational principles to effect peaceful co-existence of mass population segments become extinct! Individual preferences, particular choices, suffocate the common good, universal efficacy! The end results becomes the operative mean, literally! God withdraws from his creation, as prophesied . . . civilization dies! Amen!

  • Triumph guy says:

    I’m a active 70 year old school kind of guy, former social worker, Conservative Democrat. I just read this because I wanted to see what non-binary meant because the next James Bond character may be Non-binary.

    Then I started reading the responses. There is a lot of judgement and hate going on here. But I think gadfly had it right. To all of you who claim to be Christians what would Jesus do? I think he would be accepting of all people no matter what you call yourself or what pronoun you use to describe yourself. So maybe we should try to treat people with respect and acceptance and maybe even little love.💕

  • HadEnough says:

    In the prescient words of Chappell, we can learn all of your pronouns and acquiesce to your nonsense OR you can just STFU.

  • OG Bystander says:

    The writer is blurring the lines between the science that determines the “sex” of all mammals. The term (or identifier) isn’t “assigned “by doctors or parents, it’s assigned by the science and separates a male from a female, it’s simply undeniable. To say a man can get pregnant is scientifically impossible, simply because a female identifies as a male, doesn’t mean the science is wrong. Facts and science do matter. This is very different than a person’s “sexuality” and I would agree with “live and let live”. I’m from the “if it feels good, do it” generation” so I personally don’t care what another person’s preferences are and therefore don’t care about how they want to identify today or tomorrow. To me, my only opposition to all of this is, in a day and age when we want to create more acceptance and equality, why are we working so hard at creating more labels that contradict the desired outcome of acceptance and equality?

  • Open minded says:

    I really to not care what sex you feel like you are. Feel like both if you feel like. But remember these feelings are for adults only. Children should never wonder what sex they are. Male or Female. To them there should be only two. When you are a adult the decision is up to you. Do not confused children into not know what sex they are. Male or Female no choice. The world is a confusing place. Just tell your child that is a decision only adult get to made.

  • Aj says:

    It means everyone else has to change everything about their language and way of thinking just to make a small minority feel better about their insecurities. We all get to adapt to and change and ‘evolve’ to make the 1% feel better about themselves. Nonbianry people are selfish assholes.

  • Unbelievable says:

    Social studies are getting unpopular in Uni so the professors are coming out with these ideas to screw up the young generation heads. Their jobs are toying with young minds and see what will happen to society.

  • Ivan says:

    Some of you folks are given off these real “Beta” energy. Some of these children can accept a fictional take on levels of man, but have problems with the idea of degrees of sexuality but then get mad at someone wanting to be gender neutral. Curious.

  • Kevin says:

    The amount of God botherers on this thread is pretty scary and most cannot grasp the difference between sex and gender (one is biological fact while the other is negotiable). I have no intention of consciously offending anyone and get round the pronouns thing simply by using the person’s name as, with the best will in the world, I might get it wrong. It is not for me to tell anyone what to do or how they feel and my private thoughts on these sorts of issues can remain just that e.g. If someone comes into the pub wearing the ugliest hat I’ve ever seen, I will think “Wow – what an ugly hat! It makes them look ridiculous!” but, manners mean I will not voice this as it’s neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things since, if the wearer likes it, that’s up to them. Similarly I find some of statements in this fraught gender debate downright delusional – especially when they are presented as unarguable fact when the opposite is clearly true and it is a bit weird asking other people to share their delusion. None times out of ten, I can’t see how someone’s gender or sexual preference has any bearing on most everyday interactions. The only time I can see it mattering is if the person is a potential sexual partner. I have seen the more extreme fringes of the debate where some activists claim that lesbians are transphobic by refusing to entertain sexual relationships with someone who identifies as a woman yet has male sexual organs. Lesbians, by definition, are attracted to other women and prefer female sexual organs, female pheromones (it’s much more than just cosmetic appearance) – otherwise they wouldn’t be lesbians – and no amount of wishful thinking is going to persuade them that a woman with obvious male sexual organs fits the bill. I don’t feel that I could have a sexual relationship with an “intact” transwoman as I prefer female biology – no discrimination, it’s just how I’m wired. Live and let live – as there’s a distinct lack of nuance and understanding on all sides.

  • LiveAndLetLive says:

    I’m fine with people living how they want. I don’t need to be included in your life and don’t expect me to participate in what you do unless I want to, and currently I don’t want to. Comments calling non-gender-conforming people “attention seekers” seems very accurate.
    In my travels I’ve come across a few and they seem to be trying to invite confrontation. Just walking by they’ll stare and try to draw attention to themselves swinging their arms wildly and making funny/weird faces. It’s actually sad. I usually ignore them and if I’m with others we will look away. They are so desperate and thirsty for attention that it’s sickening.
    If you are a man or woman you are still free to feel what you want. There are hardly any constraints anymore. Women can be scientists or mathematicians and men can be nurses or midwives.
    If you’re confused about what you’re feeling just look down, penis = man and vagina = woman.
    You can freely explore sexuality (the most fun part of youth) and be welcomed into by most communities.
    Gender and sex are the same, saying sex was deemed inappropriate in some situations so gender was used instead. The words evolved like how gay used to mean happy but now it means homosexual.
    As for this article, it’s very informative and I’m glad I read it. It just sounds like a lot of fantasy, kids stuff that will pass like any other trend or fad. Once the attention fades so will the nonsense.
    Science doesn’t lie. It’s easy to see the physical traits of your sex. If you decide to change then fine, go for it. Just keep it a personal choice, you don’t need the whole city to sign off on it. Stop being so needy.
    Just be happy with yourself and others will be happy with you. No one wants to hang out with a forceful, attention whore that can only talk about the fantasies they wish were real.
    Cisgenders are not oppressors and being called a woman is not offensive. We all just want to live. You do you and I’ll do me.
    Last thing, I’m not sure that I have ever used a pronoun in a one on one conversation.
    All you unique, unicorns trying to be the centre of the universe will be hurt a lot more when you come to realize that most people don’t care about your feelings.
    And some that claim to are just pretending.

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