Finding Your Lost Libido

Aug 062013

 Finding Your Lost Libido

No matter who you are, chances are that at some time in your life you’ve experienced a discrepancy between your desire for intimacy and that of your partner. You can’t always be in the mood; but if you consistently find that your lack of interest in sex is affecting your enjoyment of life or taking a toll on your relationship, it may be time to look at the root of the problem.

Hormonal causes

For women, addressing sex drive issues can be problematic owing to the complex nature of possible contributing factors. The first step is to attempt to establish if the issue is physical or emotional. The most likely physical cause is a hormonal imbalance, although this in itself can be the result of many different variables. Testosterone, in both men and women, is the key hormone in sexual desire but the balance between estrogen and progesterone also plays a major role. The levels and balance of all these hormones change during menopause and pregnancy, but can also be affected by poor diet and specific medical procedures such as hysterectomy.

Many prescription drugs can also have an impact on your libido. Using some hormonal contraceptives and anti-depressants, in particular, results in a loss of interest in intimacy for many women; so if you suspect this could be a factor for you then make sure to talk to your doctor about your options. It’s not at all unusual for women to find lackluster libidos completely revived after simply switching to a different method or type of contraception.

Knowing your needs

Where there is not a clear medical cause for your libido problem, there may be an underlying emotional issue – especially if the problem is a long-term one.  For many women, a lack of sexual desire could be linked to a sense of discomfort with their own bodies – whether conscious or otherwise – or a lack of past positive sexual experiences.

In her book The Case of the Female Orgasm, Elisabeth Lloyd compiled the findings of 33 different studies into the female orgasm, revealing that – according to not just one but numerous researchers – up to 75% of women do not achieve orgasm through intercourse alone. Although intimacy is perfectly satisfactory for many without orgasm, this perceived inability can tend to affect desire as well as sexual confidence, as women begin to associate intimate experience with pressure to orgasm the “right” way and a persistent failure to do so.

Therefore it is often helpful to take the time to work out what types of stimulation work for you, without the pressure and distraction of involving a partner. A personal massager can help you to get to know your body while giving your individual needs your full attention. Many women who believe that they don’t enjoy intimate activities and therefore don’t desire them may change their minds when they start to explore different methods – on their own and in their own time. Plus, indulging in some *me* time has been proven to give some pretty amazing benefits for body and mind.

Asking the right questions

Ask yourself honestly if there are any incidents in your past that may have contributed to a negative view of sex. Some women, particularly those with a history of bad sexual experiences, suffer from vaginismus (involuntary vaginal spasms that cause painful sex). If this sounds like you, it is no wonder that intimacy holds little appeal for you; but professional counseling and physical therapy has helped countless women to overcome vaginismus, so ensure that you speak to a medical professional about the problem as soon as you can.

You may also have ongoing problems in your relationship which you have pushed to the side or are trying to ignore; take a step back and frankly assess if everything is as it should be between you and your partner. It’s essential to talk about your libido issue with your partner rather than hoping it will simply go away. Remember this affects your partner too, and it is not something you have to deal with alone.

Times change

Finally, there are certain points in your life when sex is likely to be a very low priority; particularly just after having a baby, or when going through menopause. Getting back into the habit of desiring and enjoying intimacy after these times is often something that needs to be worked at, rather than occurring naturally. However, by staying aware that this is completely normal, keeping lines of communication with your partner (if you have one) open, and bearing in mind that most women take some time to settle into a normal intimate routine after a big life change, it is very possible to restore the quality of your intimate life.


Please note that advice offered by Intimina may not be relevant to your individual case. For specific concerns regarding your health, always consult your physician or other licensed medical practitioners.

Article_Bringing_a_Vibrator_into_the Bedroom_345x214

Bringing a Vibrator into the Bedroom

We’ve all heard the myth that men are deeply threatened by their girlfriend’s vibrators. However, recent studies have smashed that stereotype, finding that not only do nearly half of all Americans—male and female—use vibrators during sex, but 70% of men say they have no problem with their partners using intimate massagers. Introducing a vibrator into [...]

Read more »


From “Oh!” to “Ouch!” – Causes of Painful Sex

Life is full of little pains and stressors. If there’s one place where stress and pain should melt away, it’s in the bedroom. Sensual pleasure is one of the few free, healthy rewards we can give ourselves and our partners, but when sex becomes the cause of pain, our mental and physical states can suffer. [...]

Read more »

guide to buying your first vibrator

Guide to Buying Your First Personal Massager

Buying a personal massager is, without doubt, one of the most exciting projects anyone can undertake. However, for the uninitiated, the abundance of options can leave one feeling a little overwhelmed and even a bit prudish. Every woman experiences pleasure differently, so it’s really no surprise that personal massagers come in a wealth of shapes, sizes, [...]

Read more »


The Clitoris and its Hidden Depths: More Than Just A Love Button

Oh the clitoris, that wonderful button, bean, pearl, woman in a boat or whatever you want to call it. So many names for something many of us don’t really understand. Ask a women to draw the clitoris and she will probably draw a bit of a squiggle at the top of a pair of lips. [...]

Read more »

  • Sign Up. It's Rewarding!
  • Join our newsletter list today.
  • Enjoy 10% off your first order.
  • *Email address
  • *Birthday
  • *Required field
     For first-time subscribers only. Terms & Conditions
INTIMINA uses cookies to improve our service to the customer. By continuing to browse our site, you agree to our use of cookies detailed here.   ACCEPT