Some years ago, I was getting lunch with a fierce friend, and no surprise here, we were talking about masturbation.
She told me about a practice that she does called “masturbation manifestation.” Describing the process to me, I sat wide-eyed, fascinated and intimidated, as I was still learning how to tap into my own sexual power and confidence.
I listened intently, clinging to every word, with the last sentence still ringing in my head to this day “Think about it, when you have an orgasm, that is one of the most intense sensations we can experience as humans. Now imagine using that energy and injecting it into whatever you’re trying to manifest.”
Check Your Privilege
Let’s address one thing before we get into the dirty details – manifestation is a weird term that can come loaded with all sorts of privilege, and honestly makes me cringe at times.
But there is something to putting an intense amount of energy into a dream, wish, or desire, and watching what happens. We all have goals and things we want out of life, so why not use every tool at our disposal to try and reach those goals?
The Power of Creation
While this concept comes laced with heteronormativity, sex is an act of creation. Even if it’s not explicitly making another human, sex is an artistic act, and act of connection, an act of transcendence, and sometimes just plain old fun.
To create something, no matter what it is, it takes a certain amount of energy to propel that thing forward. Hence why masturbation manifestation is such a powerful tool.
Get Witchy with It
While sex can absolutely be magical with another person (or more), it’s just as powerful by yourself. In fact, all you have to focus on is me, myself, and I. Without the distraction of another human around – as pleasurable as that may be, you can put all that sweet orgasmic energy into whatever it is you’re trying to create in your life.
Is this all feeling pretty woo-woo to you? No worries! If the words “inject all your energy into it”, “manifest your wildest dreams”, and “create sex magic” make you feel like you got lost in a deck of tarot cards, just take from this what resonates with you.
Create Your Practice
Alright, are you feeling inspired to let those *ahem* juices flow and cultivate your creativity?
To my fellow masturbation manifestors; any practice you create on your own is awesome. It’s your sex life after all. But if you’re wondering just how to create one, here’s an idea of how to get into the zone.
Create The Space
Any sort of practical magic requires a setting of the scene before getting into the nitty-gritty of it.
First off, you want to be somewhere where you feel comfortable having sex with yourself. This depends on your privacy levels. Maybe you need music or white noise to block out roommates or street sounds – great, go for that!
What else do you do to set the mood and get into a ritualistic space? Are you a candle fan? Lover of incense? Like to set the stage with vases overflowing with flowers? Beautiful! If you’re going to use some sex toys, be sure to have those handy. This is your sexy space, and you get to decide what it looks and feels like.
Set your Intentions
You’ve got your space set, your fire is burning, now it’s time to zero in. What is it you’re dreaming of?
It can be something tangible like a promotion, a new home, or your dream high waisted jeans you’ve been scouring every thrift store for. It can also be new energy, an epiphany or deeper understanding of a situation. Whatever it is, this is your practice, just get specific with it.
Now write it down, in your journal or on a piece of paper that you bury or burn. Write into existence what you’re dreaming of.
Make Some Magic
This of course is the hot and heavy portion of the practice. Where you get down to the actual masturbating. I’m not going to tell you what to do here, after all, you know your body best. I will, however, give you some pointers.
- Take your time. Let this orgasmic energy build slowly, and feel it start to swirl and rise through every part of your body.
- Keep breathing. Stay connected to your breath through deep belly breathing. This helps with the slowing down, and keeping you grounded and focused on your vision.
- You don’t need to come. Say it again for the people in the back! Orgasms are not necessary to do this practice. As awesome as they are, orgasms don’t come easily to everyone, especially if you’re stressed or under pressure. If you don’t orgasm, no worries, allow yourself to stay present in the pleasure, and just enjoy the sensations as they come.
The Bottom Line
All witchcraft and manifestation aside, orgasms make you feel good. Masturbation can increase your confidence, and make you glow from the inside out.
Call it sex magic, or just call it being practical, but the better you feel, the more smooth life is. The more fluidly you can move through life, the easier things may come to you. You’ll feel more secure in asking for your needs, in pushing the creative envelope and pursuing your goals.
Not that you need an excuse to masturbate (like ever!), but there are few things more attractive than a person who knows how to please themselves and can own it!
Natasha (she/they) is a full spectrum doula, reproductive health content creator, and sexual wellness consultant. Her work focuses on deconstructing the shame, stigma, and barriers people carry around birth, sex, and beyond, to help people navigate through their lives with more pleasure, softness, and sensuality. You can connect with Natasha on IG @spectrumoflovedoula.