Ejaculation is not just for men. A wise sex-positive person such as yourself ought to know that by now. But just because people believe it exists, does not make the female ejaculation any less elusive.
Thus we arrive at squirting. No, it’s not a myth. People do squirt. Often. Some people do it spontaneously, while others work tirelessly in their quest for female ejaculation. Once they get the hang of it, you bet your butt they’ll be back for more.
Let’s get one thing out of the way first.
Squirting is not peeing. At Least it’s not just pee. One of the most cited studies regarding squirting gives us a clearer idea about what makes up this spontaneous eruption.
It’s different from your garden variety ejaculation that comes out of the vagina when stimulated, and consists of cervical fluid. Neither is it the cum that comes out of the urethra when someone orgasms- which is typically white and milky in consistency.
A group of self-proclaimed squirters were the study’s subjects. At the beginning of the study, all the women claimed they had empty bladders. Upon sexual arousal, their bladders filled, and you guessed it- expelled. Leaving them empty again.
While yes, squirting does come from the urethra, there are slight differences from your run of the mill pee. What comes out after stimulation, contained PSA, or prostatic‐specific antigen. A protein that’s also found in the male prostate glands. Which makes sense why it’s produced by the Skene’s glands- the female equivalent of the prostate.
Some research suggests that not every woman has a Skene’s gland- or that they don’t all produce the same effect in terms of squirting.
Squirters in The Wild
Science aside, if you ask real squirters in the wild about their experience, chances are they’ll tell you- it’s not pee. So whether or not it is comprised of most of the same elements as urine, the experience of squirting and peeing are very different.
For instance, in people who are capable of squirting large amounts- it feels like the tank just keeps refilling and expelling, versus peeing when you know when it’s going to end.
It’s also difficult to squirt on a full bladder, which suggests that the physiological mechanism of peeing and squirting are different.
Does It Feel Good?
Like any sort of build-up and release in the body, we feel relief upon expulsion. When coupled with the nerve stimulation, blood flow enrichment, and muscular contractions of sexual stimulation- squirting feels incredible. Of course.
Do It Yourself
The common notion is that squirting comes from stimulation of the g-spot. While this is true for many people, some people are able to squirt with clitoral stimulation alone. Everyone’s physiology is different, and figuring out what does and doesn’t work for you, is all part of the fun.
Another thing that sets us apart- the amount of fluid that comes out. For some people it may be a tiny trickle, while for others it seems like buckets.
One of the keys to being able to squirt is a comfortable, relaxed pelvic floor. Think of trying to push anything out of your holes while tensed up- it doesn’t happen. Part of having a relaxed pelvic floor, means feeling safe and comfortable with your partner, and in your environment.
Still Interested? Here are some tips and tricks for budding squirters.
- Protect your bed by using a mattress protector, and laying down a towel (at least one).
- Take your time to get aroused. Foreplay and sensuality are key in getting the body in a place where it feels ready to squirt.
- Try a toy! There are plenty of clever gadgets out there specifically designed to hit the g-spot, and give you the kind of stimulation that may lead to squirting.
- Watch (ethical) porn. If you’re open to it, some people report learning to squirt by watching it in porn. This makes sense, as our body often responds by doing the same thing we see someone else do through the work of mirror neurons .
- Similarly, you may try using your imagination to visualize yourself (or someone else) squirting.
- New positions. Get creative or pull on the magic of the internet to find positions that will give you extra g-spot and/or clitoral stimulation.
- Stay hydrated. Not only do your kidneys need to pull on the fluids in your body to be able to squirt, but you’ll want to make sure you’re well hydrated after the fact as well.
There’s More to Life
It’s not all about squirting. You can have incredible orgasms, and awesome sex without the big gush. Contrary to what theatrical (and often fake) porn may lead you to believe.
Not everyone who is able to squirt, does so while orgasming. Sometimes it happens before, during, and/or after. On the flipside, not everyone who has satisfactory orgasms is able to squirt. Again, we’re all different!
No matter where you are in your squirting journey, remember that your body’s ability, or inability to expel a liquid from it does not define you. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t have a totally fulfilling and exciting sex life.
Natasha (she/they) is a full spectrum doula, reproductive health content creator, and sexual wellness consultant. Her work focuses on deconstructing the shame, stigma, and barriers people carry around birth, sex, and beyond, to help people navigate through their lives with more pleasure, softness, and sensuality. You can connect with Natasha on IG @spectrumoflovedoula.