Do People Really Have Multiple Orgasms
Orgasms can help relieve pain, decrease stress levels, boost your immune system, and much more! If just one orgasm can do all that, what about if you have two? Three? Four? More?
You might be thinking ‘Slow down there cowboy, three orgasms?! In a row?! There’s no way.’ We’re here to tell you it’s totally possible to up the orgasm ante. You too can have a second, third, fourth – maybe even fifth – helping of ecstatic bliss. So let’s demystify the mysterious multiple orgasms.
Multiple Orgasm 101
What’re multiple orgasms? Simply put, it’s having more than one orgasm in the same period of sexual activity. Whether that’s with yourself or someone else. Research estimates that approximately eight to fifteen percent of people with vulvas experience multiple orgasms. That just accounts for people who actually have multiple orgasms in practice, but most people with vulvas have the capacity to get there.
Take Your Time
Before we give you tips on how to experience multiple orgasms, we need to give you a big reminder: It’s not a race. It’s not a competition!
The journey towards multiple orgasms is about exploring different sensations and ways of experiencing pleasure. Putting too much focus on orgasm can put you in a goal-oriented sort of mindset. Which is usually the opposite state the female body needs to be in, to receive more pleasure. Like everything with sexuality, arousal time varies from person to person. But typically for people with vulvas, the longer you take to sink on, the greater arousal is. The more aroused you are, the easier it usually is to reach orgasm.
So take your time warming up. Take your time between orgasms. Give yourself the space to sink into your pleasure without expectations or time limits. All that being said – it’s not a race or a competition – but hey if the idea of beating your personal best turns you on, then go for it.
Explore Your Options
Like we said, this is about exploration and curiosity. Having multiple orgasms might be a matter of trying something new. Especially if you’ve found yourself in an orgasm rut!
Most people with vulvas don’t orgasm from penetration alone, which means you’ll probably want plenty of clitoral stimulation and full-body titillation. Switching it up could be as simple as trying a new position, a slightly different angle, watching porn, diving into dirty talk, or even exploring kink! It may be easier for you to explore multiple orgasms by yourself before you try it with a sexual partner. This can help take any extra pressure off, and keep you present in your body. If you are looking to have multiple orgasms with a partner – communicate that with them! Tell them how you want to feel, how you imagine the experience to be like, what you think will help you get there, and how they can help you. This kind of talk can be super hot!
Know Your Refractory Period
We typically think of a refractory period as to how long someone with a penis needs between erections, but it also applies to people with vulvas. Your refractory period is how long you need between orgasms. Some people need thirty seconds, others need thirty minutes. Everyone has their own pace and rhythm. This might change over time, especially as you get used to having multiple orgasms. Knowing your refractory period gives you the space to be patient with yourself and take your time.
Don’t Forget About Toys!
Another way to explore your options is through sex toys. Whether it’s a battery-operated vibrator, a dildo made from natural materials, or some other sort of contraption. Bringing a new toy into the bedroom can be exciting and also nerve-wracking at times. If you’re doing this with a partner, shop with them to find one that’s exciting for both of you. Toys are especially handy if you or your partner find yourselves getting tired.
One of the things that keep people from orgasming (especially multiple times) is a disconnection from their bodies. Connecting with your breath is one of the most powerful ways to stay present in your body. Before things get hot and heavy you can try taking ten deep breaths into your belly, and imagine it filling up your pelvis, warming up your vulva, and waking up your most erogenous zones. The more comfortable you get with deep breathing, especially while you’re in the heat of the moment, the more you can steer your own pleasure – and your orgasms.
To Each Their Own
Not everyone wants to have orgasm after orgasm. Some people experience decreased sensitivity or enjoyment after each orgasm, or even after the first. Others are ready for a nap after a single orgasm, and the idea of more sounds exhausting or overstimulating. Some people can keep going for what seems like hours on end. Multiple orgasms isn’t some sort of coveted prize. If it works for you, awesome, if not, also awesome!
We’ll leave you with these final tips: Stay hydrated, take your time, and enjoy the ride!
Natasha (she/they) is a full spectrum doula, reproductive health content creator, and sexual wellness consultant. Her work focuses on deconstructing the shame, stigma, and barriers people carry around birth, sex, and beyond, to help people navigate through their lives with more pleasure, softness, and sensuality. You can connect with Natasha on IG @spectrumoflovedoula.