4 Female Masturbation Myths We Can Finally Ditch

Sexual Wellness | | Colleen Godin
4 min read

Sex education is trending, periods are going eco-friendly, and sex toys are practically mainstream. We’re really lucky to live in a time when we can finally see women’s sexual health making huge, fast strides forward. However, not everyone has easy access to accurate information on sexual wellness, especially on sensitive and personal topics like masturbation.

Despite all our positive progress, female self-pleasure hasn’t completely lost its awkward, confusing, and usually false reputation. There is still a lot of unfounded gossip floating around that keeps women from discovering their own pleasure power. It’s time to do a little myth-busting and break down the doors to the incredible orgasmic potential inside every woman.

Myth #1: Masturbation is for the Single, Lonely, or Sexually Dissatisfied

Self-pleasure is often labeled as a replacement for partnered sex, and this couldn’t be further from the truth. Although it does help you get through a dry spell, masturbation will never replace your intimate connection with a living, breathing partner. It’s also untrue that you’ll only feel the desire to masturbate when you’re really unhappy with your sex life. Many men and women report masturbating even after they’re happily coupled up.

And why no? There are a ton of benefits to masturbation!

Solo pleasure is one of the healthiest ways to relieve stress, as it releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins during orgasm. It’s also the best way to keep in touch with your body and learn what turns you on. When you’re fully in tune with your sexual self, your relationship will thrive, and you can teach your partner everything you’ve discovered while exploring alone.

Myth #2: Vibrators Can Cause Nerve Damage

It’s not illogical to wonder how strong vibrations might negatively affect the sensitive clitoris after repeated use. Potential desensitization or even nerve damage are among the top concerns from new vibrator users. Like most rumors, this one is founded on assumptions and fear, not facts.

Achieving orgasm with a vibrator will absolutely not put you at risk of permanently damaging your nerves or experiencing anything more than a temporary numbness, similar to sitting on a hard, uncomfortable chair for too long. However, your body can become accustomed to repetition, making it difficult to climax from other types of stimulation. This just means that you’ll need to occasionally change up your pleasure routine with different toys and techniques.

On busy days, it’s great to have a go-to toy or five-fingered move that gets you off in a few minutes. When you’ve got a lazy Saturday to yourself, take the time to experiment with the rest of your sex toy drawer, some lube, and your hands without rushing to the finish line.

Myth #3: Masturbating Kills Your Sex Drive

Discovering a partner’s private pleasure habits can be a huge trigger for jealousy, all thanks to the speculation that orgasm alone hinders your orgasms together. Some couples even mistake masturbation for a form of cheating and assume all interest in sex will go down the drain.

This myth is so far from the truth that the opposite is actually correct. Masturbation not only doesn’t kill your desire, it kicks it into high gear and increases your chances of having amazing sex. The more your body experiences orgasm, the more it will crave climax in every form.

Studies have shown that orgasms of the solo variety lead to even more sex with a partner and are in no way correlated to feelings of dissatisfaction or lack of arousal in the bedroom.

Myth #4: Masturbation is Dirty, Wrong, or Immoral

Your beliefs on personal happiness and fulfillment are ultimately up to you, and masturbation isn’t a life-or-death requirement. However, don’t let misinformation and outside negativity keep you from the coupled or solo sex life you really desire. Like any other normal bodily function, there is no moral or spiritual law governing what your body should do to keep you alive and thriving. The human body is made to perform functions that keep you healthy, like urinating, defecating, or releasing menstrual blood.

Unfortunately, many of our natural processes have been deemed gross or dirty by society, especially for women. It’s important to remember that these labels have no bearing on what is or isn’t positive for your mental and physical health. Masturbation is good for you, and don’t let anyone tell you differently!


5 thoughts on “4 Female Masturbation Myths We Can Finally Ditch

  • Yoya says:

    I do think that vibrators cause nerve damage.The nerves at my clitoris and vagina are too sensitive and can trigger at minimus stimulus, such as wipe my vagina after pee. Some nerve endings are sometimes activated and pinching me, which is annoying and difficult to address and find a solution. I have to put numbing cream to calm them out. I am looking for more remedies that could help me out.

    • INTIMINA says:

      Hi Yoya! If you feel like sensitivity is causing you discomfort in your day-to-day, I highly recommend talking to your doctor about this. A little extra sensitivity post-orgasm is normal, but if you find that you find discomfort while wiping then there may be something else going on. Our bodies are all different and you may just be built that way, but it’s always good to check!

    • Amy says:

      I agree with Yoya. I also strongly believe that vibrators can cause nerve damage. In fact, overmasturbation (excessive or too aggressive or both, especially with vibrators) can cause clitorodynia. It wasn’t until I started using vibrators after almost 2 decades of masturbating with my fingers alone that I began having problems with sensitivity that made it hard to feel pleasure because of the pain during and/or after masturbation. I recently stopped using vibrators to see if my body can heal itself. My OB/GYN said everything else down there is fine. So if you’re using vibrators be gentle with yourself. Everyone is built differently, so what happened to me might not happen to you, but it’s always good to be aware of these things and take precaution with intense sex toys.

  • Liv says:

    Though I’m not concerned about permanent damage, I *am* building a theory that my body requires occasional breaks from masturbation. I’ve noticed my clitoris (especially the glans and area surrounding it) gets sore or slightly irritated if I haven’t skipped my nightly orgasm in a while, but feels wonderful again after a few rest days. Everyone’s different; I’m just sharing my experience.

    I’m a college student and started using vibrators less than a year ago. However, I was never able to achieve orgasm with only my fingers, so it could be I’m just less sensitive than other women – making toys an ideal solution for me. I’m still incredibly grateful to myself for making the decision to buy a vibrator and finally give myself the pleasure I so desperately wanted, especially since I had to overcome a massive amount of shame absorbed from my family and society in general. Thank you Intimina writers for helping set the record straight, and to my fellow commenters experiencing pain, I hope you both feel better.

  • crystal says:

    so i have this vibrator and i’ve never used one so i trued it out but when i put it in and it was on high vibrating level i couldn’t feel anything my clit it sensitive but i couldn’t feel anything from my vagina with the vibrator or my fingers now i think that i do have a dead vagina unless you guys know how to get sensation in your vagina

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