Ben Wa balls (aka Ben Wah or Kegel balls) have found their way into many couples’ bedrooms in recent years, thanks in large part to a rather stimulating scene in the book Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. The book has encouraged women to be more vocal about their sexual desires and be more adventurous in their sex lives. Ben Wa balls usually come in a set of two or three and have smaller weights inside them that bounce when you move, causing small vibrations that can be very arousing. But when just starting out it can be hard to know when and how to use this new addition to the bedroom, so here are a few tips to spark the flame.
1. Keep them as Your Little Secret
A little anticipation can really heighten the intensity and sensations of sex. Put the balls in a few hours before you’re due to see your partner. Each time you move the slight vibration of the internal balls will remind you of the fun to come. The fantasies you’ll have throughout the day could serve as great inspiration and by the time you arrive home you’ll be ready to pounce.
2. Share The Secret
Although you’ll be the one wearing the balls, it doesn’t mean that your partner can’t also share the anticipation. Insert them while they’re in the room (or let him be the one to slide them in) and go about your day together. You’ll get to enjoy the sensations of the balls and he’ll get to fantasize about later. It will also build a sense of closeness and intimacy, as you’ll be the only two people who know what’s really going on.
3. Stay in Touch
If you’re spending time away from each other while you’re wearing the balls, let your partner know exactly what’s going through your mind with each new sensation. A quick phone call or a sext will keep you both thinking – and the more detailed you are the better. It’ll be even more exciting for them to know that you’re thinking about them and you can both start planning what you’re going to do to each other when you get into bed.
4. Use them with a Massager
If the subtle vibrations of the inner balls aren’t enough or you want to increase the intensity, combine them with your favorite massager. Amplify the sensations of the balls with stronger external vibrations from a clitoral massager or well placed internal stimulation from a curved massager can bring your orgasms to even greater heights.
5. Play the Long Game
Investing in a good set of Kegel balls can definitely bring a lot of new sensations to the bedroom (and beyond), but what’s more valuable is the long-term impact of a regular Kegel routine. The huge range of benefits aside, a great sex life starts with a healthy pelvic floor. The contractions that cause so much pleasure during orgasm are actually the tightening and relaxing of your pelvic floor muscles. So a stronger pelvic floor means reaching orgasm is easier and orgasms are more intense when they come. A five minute routine of contract and release exercises each day can be a sexy addition to foreplay and a way to make sex even better in the future.
This is just the start of your adventures with your Ben Wa balls and you’ll start to find your own inspirations for using them. As you explore you’ll discover even more ways to tantalize yourself and your partner – just be open to new experiences and enjoy!
Lane Baumeister is an internationally-based Canadian writer with several years’ experience creating educational and entertaining articles that discuss intimate health and sexual well-being. When not waxing profound about menstruation, she devotes herself to enjoying extremely good food and equally bad movies.