Want to ask a parent for a menstrual cup? Here’s how!

Menstruation | | INTIMINA
7 min read

Making the switch from conventional period protection to menstrual cups is a big (and awesome!) step towards a better period and improved overall intimate health. Cups are one of the greatest things to happen to women’s periods since, well, forever.

However, they’re new to a lot of people, so it makes sense that some think they’re a little strange. After all, cups weren’t even around when some of our moms were teenagers! So when you’re talking to your parents about cups, the number one thing to keep in mind is that they just want you to be healthy.

You can reassure them with facts about how healthy menstrual cups are, but also give them your own reasons for wanting to try one and why they would be better for you specifically. Here are some things to remember when having that menstrual cup convo.

First things first!

Menstruation is a completely normal and healthy part of being a woman, and being able to talk about it without feeling gross or embarrassed is good for all of us. However, we know sometimes it can be weird talking about that stuff at first. If it’s your mom or sister you want to talk to, remember that she knows exactly what dealing with a period is like.

So be open and upfront about your period and why you want to use a cup. She might not be convinced at first, but being comfortable talking to her is the first step on the way to getting your first cup and joining the menstrual cup revolution!

What do I say?

You might have an idea of what you want to say, but just like making a presentation at school, it helps to organize your thoughts. If you have to, bring notes! Showing that you’re prepared to have a serious conversation will show them that you have thought this through and have done your research.

  1. Explain what a menstrual cup is and how it works.

When you do so, make sure you’re using the proper words for a women’s anatomy – nothing ruins an adult conversation like the word “who-haa”! If you have trouble explaining it, you can prepare a little research to look at together. Check out the links below for the basics to get you started.

> Our “How does a menstrual cup work” article has both pictures and a great video that can help explain how cups work.

If your mom is completely unfamiliar with cups, you can always tell her a bit about the history and show her this quick-start guide.

Oh and one more thing: make sure you know (and can explain) how to look after your cup to make sure it stays clean and healthy. That way she knows that cups are completely safe to reuse, and that you’re responsible enough to keep it clean every time you use it.

  1. Talk about the benefits of menstrual cups

Why do you want to switch to a cup? The most important thing to say is that menstrual cups are healthier for you. You can explain that the best ones are made of medical-grade silicone, which means that unlike tampons they don’t have weird chemicals or gross fibers.

Plus, it means they’re easier to insert, more comfortable and don’t dry you out or cause irritation like other menstrual products. Even better, you can safely wear them for up to 8 hours. Because they’re reusable, they save money (no need to buy boxes and boxes of tampons!) and the environment, because there’s no waste.

It’s a win-win-win! Check out more reasons to switch to a cup here, and our comparison between tampons and pads.

  1. Explain why they’re the best choice – for you.

Think about why you really want to use cups – what are your main reasons? It’s good to show your parents the specific positive impact that a cup could have on your life. Are you at school for long hours because you play sports after classes or have a lot of other things going on? Do you find tampons uncomfortable or weird?

Do pads make you feel really self-conscious? Why do you think menstrual cups will make it easier for you to handle your period? These will be different for every girl and woman, so make sure you can answer this question for yourself.

But how do I say it?

You can start the conversation by saying something like “Mom (or Dad, or Grandma – whoever you feel comfortable asking!), I’d like to talk to you about something personal. Can we go somewhere private?” Make sure you have some time to chat without interruptions, so that both of you can focus.

When you have their attention, calmly state that you’d like to try a cup, and would like to talk to them about why. Present your case in a mature, organized way, just like you would with a presentation at school. If possible, have your list of articles and websites ready for the two of you to look at together.

Let them ask questions, and if they need to, give them time to think about it. If they say “no” at first, ask why and make sure you listen to the reasons – maybe you can give a counter-argument. But make sure you don’t whine. If you act like an adult, they’ll treat you like one. And if they say no, you can always come back to the discussion later, or ask your doctor to help by talking to them with you.

How else can I prepare?

Now that you know what you’re going to say, and how to say it, it’ll also help you to be prepared for what they are likely to say to you. That way, you can be ready with a response.

Age and Size

Some parents might be concerned that menstrual cups aren’t right for growing girls. There are a lot of cups out there, designed for different types of users. The best cups for teenagers tend to be smaller and made out of super soft, flexible silicone so they’re more comfortable for your body. But every woman’s body is different, so it’s mostly about finding the cup that works best for you.

Virginity and the Hymen

This is another concern that some parents have, but menstrual cups do not affect virginity. Many people think that losing your virginity means that the hymen, the tissue at the entrance to your vagina, has been broken. In reality, this is wrong – there is a myth that the hymen completely covers the entrance to the vagina, but this isn’t true.

The hymen has always had an opening or two in it to let vaginal fluid and discharge out of your body (or a penis in), and as you get older, it changes in size and shape. It’s through this hole that you insert a menstrual cup. (You can learn more about the hymen here). So don’t worry! The only way you can lose your virginity is by having sex. Menstrual cups have nothing to do with it.

There you have it – all you need to nail that cup conversation with a parent. Oh, one last thing: remember that talking about menstrual cups and periods doesn’t have to be uncomfortable! Periods are perfectly natural, so it’s important to be able to talk to your parents, friends and especially your doctor about this stuff.

Talking to a parent about period protection is a good way to get comfortable with your own period and how you deal with it. You know cups will make your life easier, so now you just have to convince your mom it will too! And who knows – maybe you’ll even convince her to switch to a cup as well.

Lily Cup One - The Perfect Menstrual Cup for Beginners

 

Please note that advice offered by Intimina may not be relevant to your individual case. For specific concerns regarding your health, always consult your physician or other licensed medical practitioners.

17 thoughts on “Want to ask a parent for a menstrual cup? Here’s how!

  • Maya says:

    my mom keeps saying, “why would a young girl like you want that? i didn’t wear a tampon until 10th grade.” but i keep saying its NOT a tampon and its better for the environment and whatnot. also, i’m 13, and i got my period when i was about 12, so i have some experience with how periods work, and i only want one because 1. i wouldnt have to run to the bathroom every 2hrs because i feel so gross down there 2. i feel so self-conscious when the pad sticks out super obviously and i wear tight pants and 3. the environment. so much less waste.

    based on these fact, how could i convince her, what do i do?

    • INTIMINA says:

      Hi Maya! That can be a tricky conversation to have. My best advice is to explain what you’ve told me here – that using a pad makes you uncomfortable and restricts you from being able to wear the outfits you love or do the activities you like, so you want to try some other options. You can say you realize pads worked for her until she was older, but it isn’t working well for you right now. Good luck!

  • SADHIKA VISWANATHAN says:

    Thank you so much for that Hymen point. Makes the conversation a lot easier. 🙂

  • namrata yadav says:

    hi ma’am .i am namrata .umm actually i have been telling my mom about this since last 2 days and she is declining from then
    . she thinks that i want to try using a menstrual cup because of my desire to have sex or i want to insert something in my vagina .I recently got my first period but I have been gathering information about it so that it becomes easy for me to experience it for the first time . she does not try to understand me and she thinks that it is very uncomfortable to insert and keep the cup inside the body for 8 hours . she thinks it is harmful for the skin inside our vagina and may cause different kinds of diseases which will lead us visiting many doctors . I am just so irritated by her at this point of time . I understand that she is caring for me . can you please help ????????

    • INTIMINA says:

      Hi Namrata! I am so sorry to hear that you are having trouble talking to your mother about this. Particularly as we start to transition from children to young adults, these clashes are certainly not uncommon. One thing you can try, in addition to showing your mom articles like these, is looking for information about menstrual cups from other trusted medical sources, such as your family doctor, or online. It can be hard to change minds, and unfortunately if she’s still resistant, you may have to wait until you are in the position to make these choices independently. I wish you the best of luck!

  • Saga says:

    I am having a hard time putting in the cup and would need lube… How do I ask my mom?

    • Intimina says:

      Dear Saga,

      be honest and explain everything, we are sure your mother will understand the need.

      Best regards

  • Maria says:

    I’m 14 and recently came to know about menstrual cups through my cousin who had good reviews about them. So I asked my mom for it. She talked to a doctor about it and said I’m too young for that. I have tried every tactic and she still won’t budge. I want some advice because periods with pads make me miserable.

  • lina says:

    hi, im 16 turning 17 soon. I got my period when I was 11 so I’ve had mine for a while now. I have sensitive skin, so pads make me so itchy so I’ve thought about bringing this up to my mom, but she thinks I’m too young since she didn’t start using tampons until she was in her 20’s. how do I explain to her that cups and tampons are not the same?

  • Ashe says:

    Hey, so I want a disk but my mom apparently needs to make an appointment with the doctor even though I’ve done my research and found it to be perfect for me, what do I do

    • Intimina says:

      Hi Ashe,

      well, you need to talk to your mother first. If you tell her everything you found about period cups, we are sure she will understand it.

      Good luck

  • Anna says:

    Hi, I am 14 years old. Thank you for this article it helps a lot. I’ve also tried asking my mom about tampons, she said I’m way too young for that and it would take away my ‘virginity’. So I tried informing her that 1st. virginity can only be taken when I have sex. 2nd. it is my body and it is my choice to decide. I want her advice since she is older and knows more than me. I am and athlete, I swim, horse ride, do gymnastics…. So a pad is just a no no and I can not stand it. Therefore I bought tampons and only use them when I do sports. They are very comfortable, I had no bad experiences or have problems inserting it. I knew about menstrual cups however I didn’t really look into that since the cups look terrifying and surprisingly big so I started with tampons so I get how it feels to have something “up there” first. I did a lot of researchs about menstrual cups and know about its pros and cons. I tried asking my mom the first time but she said I am too young for that. I suggest to go to the doctor and check if it’s okay, we agree however she doesn’t seem to be convinced about the virginity thing. How do I talk to her without upsetting both of us.

  • ishi says:

    i am a 12 year old girl and i want to use teh mensuration cup
    but my mother is not allowing me , she says that it will lost in my vagina
    and she also thinks that pad is best
    help me

  • Rai says:

    I followed each and every point….
    My mom listened to me very carefully…
    The way she got interested to my point on menstrual cup, I thought she would allow me…
    But…But…But…
    At last she gave me an ‘one word answer’
    And that was ……”NO”…

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